As a new dad, I have been exposed to a new world of books. Namely, books designed for babies. My daughter is now nearly five months old and is beginning to touch everything and put everything into her mouth. I’m beginning to learn that the baby book industry (aka ‘Big Baby Book’) is catering to this high demand. Pages are typically indestructible and edible chewable.

The book I’d like to review for you is entitled Baby Touch and Feel Animals. Really I think it should be titled Baby Touch and Feel: Animals, because the back of the book says it is a part of a series. Colons are important, especially in books of so few words.

The author is.. Actually I don’t know who the author is because it doesn’t say on the cover. This is gravely concerning to me. All books have an author. In most adult books the author’s name is usually bigger than the title. So what happened to this author? Someone had to to write this book, right? This leads me to assume one of the following: (See, colons are important!)

  • The author is embarrassed by their work. This is very likely considering the text consists mostly of repeatable animal sounds. This probably isn’t what the author had in mind when they took a job at a publishing house, but still it is a published piece of work. We can’t take that away.
  • This leads me to think a ghostwriter was used. Oh wait, nevermind I just found the author information. It’s on the back cover in 8 point font. <ul style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0; padding-bottom: 0;">
  • Design: Victoria Harvey
  • Text: Dawn Sirett (Ghostwriter???)
  • U.S. Editor: Jennifer Quasasha
  • </ul>

NOTE: U.S. editor? Has this book really gone to print in other languages? Are animal sounds translatable? Doesn’t a cat say “meow” in French? Rachel is telling me animals do make different sounds in other countries, who knew? I do suppose a cat would say “Mao” in Mandarin Chinese.

Moving on, this book starts off strong with a cat and dog. Both animals are furry, allowing for a baby to take easy enjoyment from petting the fake fur of each. However, as I continued to read check for texture in the book, I’m sorry to say, it goes a bit downhill with a blend of flat, texture-less stickers on cardboard stock and repeats of the dog/cat felt texture on animals such as penguins and monkeys.

Yet, there is one unexpected bright spot and that goes to the starfish. It was the most unique texture in the book. I just wish there were was more of where this came from.

The biggest disappointment of all is when the final page of 12 finally arrives and are in anticipation of the grand finale, and BOOM, you get a snail. Really, a snail? It’s kind of like reaching the end of the Hunger Games trilogy… Wait no it isn’t.

To conclude, I give the book a “C” for standard chew toy fare.

Still want to buy this book after this savagery? Go here.

How do you find this critique? Is it fair? Do you want me to review more books that really don’t need to be reviewed? Please let me know in the comments below.